Scent of a Woman

I start the day off with a shower (most days, anyway) and the crazy melange of smells I’m putting on my body are causing some serious nasal confusion. I’ve been using Aussie Moist Shampoo and Conditioner, and they smell really good. It’s sweet, fresh, fruity. I’d call it a grape scent, but like a real grape, not the way grape candy smells. I have used shampoos and conditioners that are the same brand and same product line, but they don’t smell the same! After I wash and condition my hair, I use my body wash. Right now, I’m using Dove Gently Exfoliating beauty bar. I like it a lot. The scent is light, but creamy. Then I shave, and I think the current scent is Strawberry Tangerine. So that’s at least three different fragrances just in eight to ten minutes.

After towelling off, it’s time for lotion. I love St. Ives Mineral Therapy for what it does for my skin and it smells alright. It’s a light fragrance, sort of fresh smelling but again with a creamy undertone. Then deodorant, Secret something or other, probably Clean or Fresh scent. That’s two more scents in five minutes, for a total of five different fragrances in about fifteen minutes.

Then there are the rest of the hair products. I use Frizz Ease Dream Curls spray, Garnier Wonder Waves mousse, and finish with Aussie something hairspray. They all have fresh or fruity scents, but they aren’t similar at all. And? The Aussie hairspray smells nothing like the Aussie shampoo and conditioner. Keeping the tally going, that’s three MORE scents in about fifteen minutes for a total of eight in thirty minutes.

Lately, I’ve fallen in love with Nautica Bermuda Blue perfume. I often skip regular perfume, but I really do like this one a lot, so I wear it pretty often. Of course, I’ve changed out of my pj’s and into my work clothes before I spritz, so there’s the smell of Mountain Clean Arm & Hammer laundry detergent, and if I remembered to use it, a dryer sheet (not a clue what brand or scent that is and I’m not getting up to check, dammit). Five more minutes of time and that’s three more scents.

People. In the forty-five minutes it takes me to get ready, I’m putting on eleven different fragrances. ELEVEN. This is ridiculous! I’m sure I could find products that are fragrance free, but I LIKE the products I use. It’s taken years to find all the right ones for me. Years, I tell you! And I look good, but what the fuck do I smell like?? I’m afraid I smell like a French whore, to tell the truth. A light, fresh, fruity French whore, but a French whore, none the less.

Published in: on January 27, 2010 at 12:52 am  Comments (8)  

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8 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. OMG that’s hilarious !!! I’ll have to count all of my scents ! And I love the Aussie hair stuff !!

    • Aussie has been my favorite since I was a teenager. I’ve strayed away a few times, but I always go back.

      Do count all your scents and let me know! I’m curious!

      • just think Wendy if you could change all your scents to cents , you would be rich . no foolin . bring back the tokens ! tales 10 tokens to make i penny . who remembers that i do , they were cheap aluminum ! classy coins . lol

  2. And what’s wrong with smelling like a French whore? NOTHING. Ha. 😛

    • Nothing wrong with smelling like a French whore. Some other country whore? Big problem. lol

    • b/t/w/ are you French ? sassy how you ?

  3. lol I’m sorry sweetie, but I had to laugh – because you’re so on target! It’s true, women’s products are SO heavily scented, it’s crazy. Here’s a couple suggestions (not that you were looking for any, but I like to be helpful, soooooo….):

    The body wash is probably the easiest to replace – most of them tend to do the same thing, and you can probably find a Dove wash that’s unscented. So there’s that scent gone.

    For your hair – have you tried Paul Mitchell Extra Body Thicken Up gel? I think we have similar hair (wavy/curly, highly prone to frizziness), and it’s taken me YEARS to find something that keeps me from getting frizzy. This shit does the job even in the most humid weather. I swear to god, it’s like a frikkin miracle!! Then you could probably find a scentless hairspray (most hairsprays do the same thing anyway). And if you switch to a scent-free deoderant, laundry detergent and dryer sheet, Boom! You’re down to just a few scents a day.

    Or not. That might just be too much damn work – and hey, aren’t French girls supposed to be pretty? So it’s not the worst thing in the world to smell like a French girl, even if she’s a bit…loose 😉

  4. love it smell like a french whore w/ a American accent ! no wonder you have to hurry up some days so your not late for work . , then there are the curves (body) you have to slow down for . lol . cool . b/t/w/ how things going as of late ? all iswell i hope .

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