C’mon And Get Pissified!

Do you ever have one of those days where you’re just pissy, you know you’re pissy, and dammit, you feel righteous in your pissifiedness?  Days where you want to toss shit around and fucking DARE someone to fuck with you just so you can lay into them?  I do.  Mostly, I’m pretty nice.  Mostly, it takes a lot to really piss me off.  Mostly. 

I’ve felt it coming, this meltdown.  There’s been so much on my plate lately, then add the helpless feeling of knowing people I care about are hurting, coupled with the physical pain I’ve been “coping” with the last few days.  I knew it would happen, I just didn’t know the how’s and when’s.  I cracked today. 

The last week at work, my boss (let’s call him Jim) has been out due to surgery.  I busted my ass all week, but it felt great to be in the driver’s seat again.   Since I started working there, our numbers haven’t been all that great.  Mediocre at best, and at one point we were last place in the entire company.  I feel a sense of ownership, so having a sucky office gets to me.  Every place I’ve managed, I’ve always been in the top three, usually number one but slipping to number five on occasion.  So every time the divisional director sends out rankings and we’re in the bottom, it gets to me.  There are a lot of things I would do differently if I were the manager.  But until I am, I can only do what my boss tells me to do.  Last week, though?  I was in charge. 

The divisional director came down and was only going to observe an hour or so but wound up staying the whole day.  As he left at 7:00 that night, he told me several times how much he enjoyed the day.  Several times that day, he told me Jim needs to “piss or get off the pot” and he needs to “make up his mind and either be with the company or not.”  Things like that.  Jim does not hide the fact that he’s not happy with his job.  He took a $20K pay cut to come to this business, and it’s not what he thought it would be.  He’s been friends with the divisional director for the last nineteen years, and now he feels like he was lied to.  In reality, he came from being a general manager of a large rent to own company to a branch manager.  He can’t seem to grasp the difference in the two, though.  He still manages our little office-  It’s a small loan company.  Did I tell you that?  It’s all about renewing loans once they get a couple payments in and collections on accounts that are past due.  Anyway, he doesn’t get it that it’s an entirely different field.  I was in this type of business for several years and I get it.  It was hard when the divisional director was talking negatively about Jim because I do like him.  It was uncomfortable, you know?  I stood up for him some, but other times I just kept my mouth shut.  Didn’t agree or disagree because arguing with the divisional director too much is not the smartest thing.  And did I tell Jim all these things he said about him?  No.  I just told him things went smoothly because to say anything else would have hurt his feelings.

I’m not going to lie.  I DO hope Jim leaves the company soon.  He has an offer on the table from another rent to own company RIGHT NOW for $20K more a year.  And he doesn’t want to be at this company!  I have to listen to it every fucking day.  It’s hard to be around someone who is so negative all the time.  It makes me not like the company either, when in reality, I’m pretty sure most of the problems I have are not with the company but with Jim’s management.  I told the divisional director the other day that I need to have a job where I’m the manager.  That if it doesn’t happen shortly I’ll have to consider other options.  He told me if a position opens, I’m definitely a candidate and that he prefers to promote from within.  I feel like I have a shot, at least.

Oh.  I had a point and totally rambled away from it.  Back on track now.  Sorry.

I knew it would be difficult when Jim returned to work and I had to step back down.  I prepared myself for it.  But I didn’t expect him to be a dick about the whole situation.  Was he grateful that I took the store from eighth in the rankings to FOUR?? No.  He said we were already on the way back up when he went out.  That’s bullshit, but I kept my mouth shut.  When a customer was across the room asking me questions about taxes (which he knows NOTHING about, btw) and he literally placed himself between the customer and me so he could repeat what I had just said?  I said nothing.  And as the day progressed and he acted like I’m an idiot over this or that or the other?  I bit my tongue because for now that’s my fucking job.  But then at 7:00 tonight when he started in again about how the company is so stupid and he’s the smartest person in the company and he knows how to do it better than the divisional director and everyone else and he should just give his notice?

I snapped a little.  I told him I wish he would just go ahead and quit because he’s obviously not happy.  Of course, he got offended and it wasn’t because I was basically telling him I don’t want to work with him anymore.  He started getting on to me because he thinks I’m trying to push him out so I can have his job.  Told me there’s no way they would give me the store if he left and they’re just blowing smoke up my ass.  Basically told me I’m not good enough to manage the place.  And yeah, I snapped some more.  Because, HELLO????  I ran it better the week he was out than he has the ENTIRE TIME I’VE BEEN THERE.  And?  If I wanted to push him out?  Oh I could have his job in a fucking heart beat.  I know so many things it would make the divisional director’s head spin!  But did I even hint at anything when he was there?  No.  I stood up for the asshole.  I’m doing everything I can to KEEP his job for him.  I didn’t tell him all that, but I did lay into him.  And if felt good! 

He told me at one point I need to think about things I say because that’s how I always piss people off.  Like I’ve never heard that one before.  I told him some people love me for speaking my mind, and I spent way too many years not being able to say what I felt to start doing that shit again now so either love it or leave it, the choice was his.  He started to calm down again after that and tried to be all nice again.  But you know?  I’m so done with him.  Either he goes or I go.  Doesn’t matter to me, I just hope it happens soon.

Published in: on January 19, 2010 at 1:12 am  Comments (6)  

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6 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Asscracker. I hope he leaves and you get his job. Better, I hope he gets ‘laid off’ and you get his job. Glad you finally snapped and stood up for yourself. Seems you did well with keeping your mouth shut at the right moments though.

    • It’s been a long time coming, babe. It was stupid, but necessary. I really need a new job. Also? Love “asscracker.” lol

  2. While I always appreciate the straight-shooters in my life, work is often not a place to be balls-to-the-wall about it. I know from experience. I’ve often just kept my mouth shut in a corporate environment because I valued my paycheck over my ability to tell someone to piss off.

    Doesn’t sound like this guy is long for that job either way, though.

    • Thankfully, I’m good enough he doesn’t want to lose my skills, or I probably would have been fired. I normally don’t do that at work, but OMG he gets on my nerves sometimes.

      Hopefully, he’s not long for the job. I don’t really see him leaving, though, so I’m out as soon as I find something better.

  3. Jim needs to go and find another job and let you take the reigns.

    Don’t listen to him because your company already saw you can handle it and they saw that ratings increased with you there in charge. Of course they would give it to you – even if you had to convince them it would be for a trial time.

    So hopefully, he will go and give you a chance to shine!!

    • The next morning he brought me a Thank You card for all the hard work and effort. I do hope he leaves so it could be mine. We’ll just have to wait and see though.

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